


Bright Side

by sonictrowel



Series: Long Night in the Blue House [47]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Family Drama, Romance, basically in that order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 06:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11030958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonictrowel/pseuds/sonictrowel
Summary: They didn’t sleep much that night.  The Doctor’s hands rubbed soothingly over River’s back while he whispered vague reassurances, but she hardly heard them.“Sorry she went,” she repeated to herself for the tenth time.“Tenses are difficult,” the Doctor muttered, one side of his mouth quirking up in bitter amusement.





	Bright Side

[Darillium]

They didn’t sleep much that night.  The Doctor’s hands rubbed soothingly over River’s back while he whispered vague reassurances, but she hardly heard them. 

 _“Sorry she went,”_ she repeated to herself for the tenth time.

“Tenses are difficult,” the Doctor muttered, one side of his mouth quirking up in bitter amusement.

“But why would she go to them?” she whispered desperately.   _“How_ would she?”

“I don’t know.  But we knew, River, it didn’t look like she was going to be with us.  At least, if she has to be anywhere else…”

“I know,” River sighed, “I know.  But even if she isn’t with me, why can’t she stay with you?”

“I… _might_ know why.  Possibly.  It’s becoming a theory.  I’m still not sure I should tell you, but… fuck it.”

She watched him expectantly.

“Uh, remember that time we had a fight cause I was being a total prick?”

“It rings a bell,” she replied drily.

“It was about Mils.  Before she left, she said something that made me think she was in trouble.  She wouldn’t tell me what, only that I was taking care of it in the future, so I should keep my nose out of it now.” 

“But, that was a while after she left.”

“Yeah.  I’ve been researching, the whole time we’ve been here.  Figuring out how I’m going to get you back.  But something else kept coming up everywhere I looked.  I, uh, told you about all that business with the Hybrid?”

“I remember I was a tad insulted you didn’t immediately think of me,” River teased, trying her best to push down her dread.

“I did,” the Doctor said quietly.  “I’m always thinking of you.”

She had to kiss the sad smile off of his face, to steal a moment of comfort while her head spun.  His hand slid into her hair and his lips parted, moving soft and slow and warm against hers.  The sky could be falling around them, but he could still make her feel safe, make her feel that everything would be okay, if only for a moment.

“Sorry,” she said breathlessly, licking her lips and lingering close, eyes still shut to hold onto the feeling as long as she could.  “Go on.”

“Um,” the Doctor said, clearing his throat, his fingers still wound into her curls.  “Right, the uh.  Hybrid.  I thought of you, of course, but it had been so… so long.  And I knew you wouldn’t destroy Gallifrey, ’specially if you found out all the trouble I’d gone to to un-destroy it.”  

She could hear a little smile in his voice for a moment.

“Ashildr was my leading theory.  She lived too long with only a human memory span.  She lost all sense of morality.  And she’s _truly_ immortal— more so than us.  Unless something changes... she is the last living being at the end of the universe.”  

The Doctor paused, and when River opened her eyes and leaned back enough to look at him, he was staring past her, unseeing.  “That was probably the cruelest thing I’ve ever done,” he said softly.  “I thought of you, so I gave her one more chip.  I didn’t think about her having children.  I didn’t think enough about what it would mean for her to live _forever._  I don’t know a damn thing about forever, really.  Two thousand years, four and a half billion years... a drop in the bucket.  If she had a mind to put an end to my planet for the curse I made of her life, I couldn’t blame her.”

“You were just trying to save her.  You were doing what you thought was right.” 

“Yeah,” he smiled darkly, “amazing how often I seem to make a cock-up of that.”  He sighed.  “But, all the Matrix says is that it’s two warrior races.  The Council assumed half Time Lord and half Dalek, but you know Time Lords.  Self-important and severely lacking in imagination.”

“So you thought it was human and the Mire, and Ashildr thought it was you.” 

“Or me and Clara.  I… suppose we were bad for each other.  Pushed each other too far.  I can’t properly remember it all, but I remember she died because she tried to be too much like me, and I let her.  I remember the terrible things I did trying to save her.   Wish I could’ve forgotten those bits instead.”

He frowned and swallowed, and River settled her hand against the side of his neck, stroking his jaw with her thumb.  

“And as Ashildr pointed out, Missy sent her to me.”

River turned that over in her mind, with all the rest of the stories of the Master he’d told her over the centuries.

“Missy might be content to watch the universe burn, and happier yet to drive you to do it,” she mused, “but I’m sure she still loves you, in her way.  You said yourself, you’d have died a thousand times if Clara hadn’t saved you, and a thousand worlds you’ve saved would disappear.” 

“I suppose,” he rasped.  “Can’t quite seem to make sense of any of it, when so much is a blur.”

“I know, sweetie,” River soothed as she leaned in to kiss his cheek, her lips lingering feather-light on his skin.  She knew all too well the painful confusion of having empty spaces where memories should be.  

But she’d realised where all this talk of the Hybrid was leading, and even as she tried to comfort him, her heart was beginning to pound.

“So you think it’s the girls,” she said quietly, almost afraid to voice it aloud.

He sighed.   _“I_ don’t think it is.  But they do.  The Council.  Or at least, they think it’s Mils.  I didn’t know about Athena yet then, so I’ve no idea if they know about her.”

“And if they did, we’d need to hide her.  Somewhere she’d be safe and cared for, somewhere they can’t get to her.  Somewhere cut-off from time travel.”

“Yeah.  That’s what I was thinking.”

“So,” River said, trying to gather her resolve, “how the hell do we get her there?”  

If this was the way to protect their daughter, they’d do it.  But one step at a time.  Technicalities first.  No thinking about how it would tear her apart to leave Athena behind or send her away.  No letting the tiny spark of vain hope that she might see her parents again grow into a flame.  

“We can’t go,” the Doctor said gently, no doubt anticipating her thoughts.  “We’re part of the cause of that distortion, our timestreams are all tangled up in the paradox.  Going back into our own history, with the temporal storm going on there… it would almost certainly burn New York.”

“What if we went later?  When it’s been long enough for the timelines to start to heal?” River asked, a familiar yearning fluttering treacherously in her chest.  It was a thought she’d had hundreds of times since Manhattan.  Would it ever be safe enough for her to return within Amy and Rory’s lifetimes?

“It’s too dangerous for us to go, River.  And if anyone _else_ can make it through, then by that time she won’t be safe there.”

Of course.  “So, somehow we need to get her directly to 1938,” she said, swallowing down a new wave of disappointment and grief.  

But the Doctor didn’t look away from the damage anymore.  “I’m so sorry, honey,” he said, hugging her close.

“I know,” River mumbled into his neck.  “I know.  Not your fault, darling.”

“Don’t know about that.  You take a long enough view, basically everything that happens to me and everyone I love is my fault.”

“Well, I prefer seeing you up close,” she breathed against his skin.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, kissing her hair.

She nodded, snuggling in closer and returning the kiss to his throat.

“Maybe… Nardole,” he said slowly, thinking aloud.  “If, after tonight… if I can take him with me, get him a Vortex manipulator, might still be able to slip through.  But it’s risky.  Or they could take the long way round, road trip it from somewhere outside the disturbance.  Not as if people aren’t still coming and going from New York in 1938.  It... just can’t be us.”

“I’m sure he’d be willing to try.  He loves her,” River choked out, blinking back tears.

“D’you want to look in on her?” the Doctor asked softly.

She nodded against his neck.

Athena was positively cherubic in the moonlight: her tight corkscrew curls tumbling over her sweet face, long lashes brushing her round cheeks, her little pouty mouth hanging open, chubby fingers curled into a loose fist below her chin.  Leaving her, losing her — it was unthinkable.  River’s stomach tightened into a knot that felt like a leaden weight in her gut.  The Doctor slid his arms around her waist and tucked his chin into her shoulder.  And she’d leave him, too; she’d lose them both.  She’d lose it all, everything they had. 

 _Not forever,_ said his gruff, soft voice in her mind.  _Not everything ends.  Not love.  Not always._

She drew in a shuddering breath and leaned back into him, desperate for the comfort of his nearness.

River had no idea how long they stood there, watching the soft rise and fall of Athena’s breathing in the pale light, before the Doctor gently steered her back to their room.

Exhausted from talking about it, from the worry and the heavy, aching weight on her heart, River grabbed hold of the Doctor as they tumbled back into bed.  Her fingers curled into the fluffy mess of his hair while she kissed him with growing desperation.  He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her tenderly against him, but returned her kiss with equal passion.

“Darling,” she sighed against his lips.  “Need you.  I just—” she stopped abruptly as her voice and her chin trembled without warning.

“Anything,” he promised.  “I’m all yours, sweetheart.”

River couldn’t find the words for the terror and grief that was gripping her, but she knew he felt it too.  All she wanted was to be wrapped up in him: warm, safe, loved, pressed as close together as they could possibly be.  That was the only place she could always find comfort.

The Doctor understood; he always did.  He crawled over her, and already she felt less raw and exposed, with his limbs anchored around her and his warm body brushing over hers.  Their lips met, careful and soft and sweet at first and then more urgent, the heat building between them again as he lowered his weight onto her.  His hand slid up to cradle the back of her head as he kissed her with a single-minded passion that made her feel dizzy and breathless.

“I love you, River,” he whispered, his warm breath fanning over her cheek.  “It’s okay, it’ll be okay.  I’ve got you.  Both of you.”

River’s hands fluttered over his face and his neck and finally threaded through his hair again as his mouth returned to hers.  She tried to focus on each part in turn: the slow slide of his soft lips and searching tongue, the sound of his breathing and his hearts as they picked up pace, the familiar taste of him in her mouth, his hand in her hair rubbing at the aching stress points at the base of her skull, the wonderfully maddening pressure of his hips beginning to rock into her.

A trickle of tears escaped the corner of her eye when his mind embraced hers, running over the side of her face and into her hair.

Eventually his lips and his hands began to roam, and they undressed each other somewhat frantically, sharing the same urgency to be _closer, closer, closer._  She tried to slow down again, to take everything in: his hot mouth on her skin, the soft touch of his callused hands, his body moving over hers, firm and warm and perfect.  His mind promising fervently, directly to hers: _us, together, always._  His clever fingers making her gasp and a so, so, soft and tender kiss and the question in his bright, adoring eyes, as if she could ever answer anything but _yes._

The quiet, disjointed impressions of each sense coalesced again in perfect clarity, sound and colour blooming vividly as the Doctor pushed into her, groaning and raggedly breathing her name into her ear. 

“Love you,” she sighed.  “Oh, I love you.”

Each time he withdrew and drove in again she felt herself melting around him, becoming liquid, hot and yielding; becoming the push and pull of waves at the incoming tide.  

Their noses brushed together and he laid his lips, warm and whisper-soft, on hers, while his next deep thrust drew a sharp cry from her throat.  

River’s thighs trembled around his waist, her breathing hitched, and she felt the hot flush of love and pleasure rising to her face, taking her over as he moved in her and she rocked her hips in time.

With the flow of their two minds swirling into one, when it crashed over her they went under together.

River laid her head on the Doctor’s chest, warm and tangled up with him skin-to-skin.  He'd worked whatever that magic of his was that set her soul right by entwining it with his; that made her feel it would all be okay, because together they could do anything.  But even though she felt about a hundred times better, sleep was still a futile effort. 

“Bright side?” she said into the dark.

“Mm?” he hummed into her hair.

“I’m so glad she’ll get to know them,” she said softly.

“Me too,” he whispered, with an audible smile.

Perspective.  She took a slow, calm breath.  They knew it would be something.  They knew they’d be apart.  This was good news.  This was the best news they could’ve hoped for, really.

 _Thank you,_ she said to her mother.  In her heart, it was to both of them.

“It would be wonderful if Amelia could too,” she said aloud.

“It would,” he agreed, and kissed her temple.  

It had been months now of trying and hoping, and no sign of another little Time Lady on the way.  But it would be alright.  Whatever happened, she trusted her Doctor, trusted how good they were together.  To save their family, they _could_ do anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you wonderful people for reading and for your always amazing comments! We are closing in on the end... for all I know that could end up being another 20 chapters but, I swear, closing in on it!!


End file.
